How Smartphones Changed Childhood (And What to do About it)
Have you noticed how hard it is to get your kids to look up from their phones? Or maybe you’ve caught yourself scrolling mindlessly and wondered what it's doing to your own attention.
For the final episode of our Happier Parenting season, I talked with social psychologist, Jonathan Haidt, and Common Sense Media's Chief Content Officer, Jill Murphy, about one of the most pressing parenting challenges of our time: how technology is reshaping childhood.
Jonathan Haidt describes the rise of smartphones and social media in the early 2010s as the beginning of what he calls the "Great Rewiring" of childhood — a period in which digital technology fundamentally changed how kids grow up and connect with the world. The result? A rise in anxiety, depression, and disconnection that many families are still struggling to make sense of.
If you're looking for big-picture changes like phone-free schools or raising the age for social media, Jonathan has some bold ideas — and we dig into all of them in the episode.
But what if you're just trying to get through the week without another meltdown over screen time? Jill Murphy shares practical tips that parents can start using right now to build healthier digital habits without ditching tech completely:
Strategies to Help Your Kids Navigate Screens
1: Start with a Family Media Agreement. Sit down together and agree on basic screen-time expectations like where, when, and how tech gets used in your home.
2: Have the Big Conversations Early. Before giving your child a phone or app, talk about online safety, privacy, screen-time balance, and how to spot unrealistic images or misinformation.
3: Designate Tech-Free Times and Spaces. Consider setting aside screen-free moments like mealtimes, bedtimes, or car rides to make space for conversation, rest, and real connection.
4: Pay attention to how your child acts during and after screen time. If your child seems more anxious or withdrawn after being online, it might be time to reevaluate their tech use.
Take action today: This week, instead of striving for perfection, try practicing a little self-compassion. Pick one small way to reset your family’s tech habits — and give yourself credit for showing up and trying. Change takes time, and you’re not alone.
Want to learn more science-backed strategies for happier parenting? Enroll in my free course, The Science of Well-Being for Parents on Coursera, where we explore the "cognitive triad" of happier parenting: thinking differently, feeling differently, and acting differently. You can sign up at drlauriesantos.com/parents.
P.S. Don’t forget to check out David’s book, 10 to 25: The Science of Motivating Young People: A Groundbreaking Approach to Leading the Next Generation—And Making Your Own Life Easier.
Looking for more?
You can find all our companion guides from this season of The Happiness Lab on DrLaurieSantos.com/Newsletter.
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