Why Algorithms Can’t Predict Your Love Life with Dr. Paul Eastwick
New episode of The Happiness Lab: Why Algorithms Can’t Predict Your Love Life with Dr. Paul Eastwick
If you’ve ever left a bad date wondering, “What’s wrong with me?,” you’re not alone. Modern dating can make it feel like your romantic fate depends on where you fall in some invisible ranking.
But the science suggests a much more hopeful story. This week on The Happiness Lab, social psychologist Paul Eastwick, author of Bonded by Evolution:The New Science of Love and Connection, breaks down why many of the popular “evolutionary psychology” dating ideas on the internet are scientifically inaccurate. Paul will also share what research really shows about forming lasting connections.
Listen to the full conversation, “Why Algorithms Can’t Predict Your Love Life with Dr. Paul Eastwick“
We underestimate the extent to which we can be compatible with a lot of different people. — Paul Eastwick
How to Date Better (According to Science)
Stop thinking of dating as a marketplace with fixed rankings.
Research shows that people’s agreement about who’s attractive and who’s not is much weaker than we think.
Focus on compatibility instead of checking boxes.
Attraction depends on how two people interact together. So focus on how you connect together by noticing whether interaction feels easier as you spend time together.
Don’t overweight first impressions.
Studies show that attraction often grows with familiarity. Spending more time together can lead to the shared experiences and inside jokes that fuel connection.
Embrace the “friend zone.”
Many long-term relationships start as friendships, where connection has time to build through trust and shared experiences.
Take Action This Week: If you’re dating, try shifting your mindset. Ask questions like “How do we feel together over time?” Compatibility often shows up with repetition.
Coming Up on The Happiness Lab...
Ever notice how work stress doesn't clock out when you do? Coming up on The Happiness Lab, I talk with psychologist Guy Winch, author of Mind Over Grind: How to Break Free When Work Hijacks Your Life, about why work rumination follows us home—and what science says actually works to break the cycle.
Looking for more?
You can find all our companion guides from this season of The Happiness Lab on DrLaurieSantos.com/Newsletter.
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